Park = Wake Up Call

Today my co-leader and I took our girls to the park for lunch and some fun fellowship. We picked a perfect day too because it was gorgeous! Since it is spring break only two of our girls were able to come. While I missed the girls that couldn't make it, it was nice to get some quality time with the two. We fed the ducks and discovered that corn tortillas sink. Sadly I was not in photo-Nazi mode and didn't take a single picture for blog proof.

After feeding the ducks, we played a quick game of Ultimate Frisbee and I was shocked to discover I am painfully out of shape. Well shocked is not really accurate since I have not been to the gym in months. But still, it is quite scary how quickly muscle disappears. Thus, I have decided to get back into the gym in the hopes of soon being able to run the length of the ultimate field without breaking a sweat.

Feel free to start playing the Rocky music in your head because it is what I turn to every time I vow to get back in shape, so it is going through my head as I type. Luckily Melissa asked me to run a 5k with her in May so I have a goal that will keep me focused. I know a 5k is not daunting but you would be surprised what huge motivation a little race can be. The Heartbreak 5k will also serve to cross one Resolution off my list and we all know how happy I get about crossing something off my list. Thanks Mel for suggesting the 5k and being willing to run it with me.

It is finished.

But wait, some of you may be thinking... How is it that you are working a part time job when you already have a full time job? Simple. My contract job ended today! I am a free woman. I should be overjoyed but frankly I am still in shock. We have been told the job was ending so many times that I am still struggling to believe it actually happened. I guess it is true what they say about crying wolf... eventually people stop believing you. But I have been assured we are done and I have no plans to go into that office tomorrow morning... So maybe the reality will sink in tomorrow.

I have posted about my contract job several times in varying degrees of frustration but in hindsight I am choosing to focus on and be thankful for the Lord's provision. Over the last three months I have enjoyed a constant pay check and all of the security that brings. I have been able to make larger loan payments than the minimum requirement. I have more than doubled my savings account (the account was shockingly low before I started working and I just got my tax refund and am including that in my calculation). This job provided a reason to get out of the house for 40 hours a week. I learned a great deal about discovery and production of documents. I learned that discovery and production of documents is not something I enjoy doing full time. I will no longer take for granted a job that I enjoy. This job forced me to seek the Lord in new ways. I learned to read documents carefully while listening to audio books. I learned that everyone has to start somewhere and I eventually learned contentment with starting at the bottom. I surrendered some of my pride. I was honored to be asked to stay on for privilege review and to have confirmation that I was doing a good job. I worked for someone from reality TV stardom and learned more than I ever wanted to know about the Bachelor (okay... maybe that one is not so exciting but it has provided me with a great topic of conversation).

Lord, thank you for placing me in such a sweet place this week. What a blessing to be confident that I finished strong and eagerly anticipating the next chapter.

My First Day

Today I woke up excited and nervous (kinda like on my first day of school). I picked out my outfit last night and was confident my navy dress was both professional and stylish. I bravely faced the elements (which this morning meant freezing rain) and rode the DART downtown with anticipation for the first time in months. I loved the feeling.

I maneuvered the streets of downtown Dallas with less grace than I would have hoped but can't really complain since I was walking in heels, carrying my laptop and trying to keep my umbrella from flipping inside out. I arrived at my new building and rode the elevator up 26 floors to my new firm's office. Then I walked into my very own office for the first time as an attorney. I couldn't help but grin. (I seriously considered taking a picture of my office to show you all what a grown up I am, but decided against it.) After the initial shock wore off and I completed all the necessary paperwork, I started working on my first case. Today was a good day!

For those of you that have no idea what I am talking about, last week I accepted a part time job at a small law firm downtown and today was my first day. The firm consists of two female partners, a receptionist and me (their associate). The practice is a mix of transactional work and litigation and I could not be more thrilled. I am working part time initially but with the potential to become a full time employee. I will fill you in on more details as the job progresses but for now, know that I am excited and feel the Lord's immense blessing.

During the course of the day, I got a firm email address, phone number, ordered my business card and discussed computer options and preference before they ordered my computer. All of this left me feeling very official which (again) I loved. If you want to know more about where I work, feel free to ask me for a business card next time you see me.

DTOWN

I am not so good about timely blogging these days but wanted to post about DTOWN while it was still fresh in my mind. DTOWN is Watermarks version of Disciple now. Two weekends ago all of Watermark's High School and Junior High kids got together for a weekend of fun, fellowship and time with Jesus. We had three speaker sessions and two quiet times over the weekend. The retreat centered on 1 Timothy 4:12 "Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. "

The five sessions were over speech, conduct, love, faith and purity. All were challenging not only to my girls but also convicted me. The faith message struck a deep cord with me. Our journal had several verses on faith (Hebrews 11:1, Hebrews 11:7, 2 Cor. 5:7) but a quote from Oswald Chambers really got me thinking. "Worry is an indication that we think God cannot look after us." I thought through the last few years of my life and sadly worry has been more present than I would like to admit. Why does added responsibility bring increased anxiety.

I turn to Jeremiah 29:10-14 when dealing with worry. Mainly verse 11 but the rest of it cannot be disregarded. 10"For thus says the LORD, 'When seventy years have been completed for Babylon, I will visit you and fulfill My good word to you, to bring you back to this place. 11'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. 12'Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13'You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. 14'I will be found by you,' declares the LORD, 'and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you,' declares the LORD, 'and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile.'"

I pray you too are comforted by this passage. Whether you feel your life is in exile or in the promise land... always remember the Lord works all things for His good. Have faith and try to stop worrying! (If only it were that easy.)

I had a great time with my girls and am enjoying watching them grow. It is challenging to see their childlike faith and how their simple poetic words can bring such conviction. I am so looking forward to the next six years girls!

Below are our pictures from the weekend below. On Saturday afternoon we had a photo game where we had to embody different things in a picture. Thus the crazy pictures below. I numbered the pictures we submitted and stated what they were trying to portray. Enjoy.

DTOWN

Drum Roll Please

This just in... My car has been repaired! Apparently my clutch switch (something that engages the clutch) broke. Thus, even though I had my clutch in last night as I tried to start my car, it did not register. I was angry at my alarm in vain... My clutch was the culprit.

The repair cost only $60. Woohoo! Got to love The Little Honda That Could!

Who needs a tow?

Sadly I do. My poor car is sitting at a repair shop as we speak awaiting its fate in the morning.

I went to small group tonight and after all the kids left, I headed home myself. Except my car would not start. Must be the battery I thought. "No biggie. I know how to handle a battery. But wait, why are my lights working and why is my radio on... That's not right. Not if it is my battery."

I began to freak out when I realized I was in uncharted territory and immediately called my father. He headed my way as I began to brainstorm potential problems. My best guess is that my alarm is malfunctioning. The alarm has a fail safe that prevents the car from turning over/starting if the alarm is set. My alarm appeared to be turning off properly but maybe it wasn't disengaging the kill switch.

As I was thinking through my options the small group family whose house I was in front of left for dinner and asked if I needed help or wanted to join them. I told them my dad was on the way. Not to worry. And to have a great dinner! I then sat in my car and tried again to think of anything I could do to fix my car.

About a minute later a cop pulled up and asked "What seems to be the problem?" I told him all about my alarm idea and that I hoped if I disconnected the battery the alarm would work once reset. He thought it was a good idea (truthfully I think he was impressed that I knew anything about cars) and moved his car in front of mine to shine his spotlight into my car. I figured if I had to be "spotted", I wanted car trouble to be the reason.

He tried to help me disconnect my battery but neither of us had the right tools so he jumped my car while waiting for my dad. I was 99.9% certain this would do nothing, but it was worth a shot. Unfortunately I was right and the jump didn't help. I also called my mother and asked her to google "black widow alarms" and see if there is a way to disconnect the alarm or reset it. She told me what she red online and I tried it to no avail. By that time my dad was close and the very nice officer stayed with me until my father arrived. While we were talking I discovered he patrols the neighborhood and my small group father (whose house I was in front of) had called him and asked him to stay with me until my father arrived. I thought this very nice.

When my father arrived we thanked Mr. Nice Policeman profusely as he left and began working on disconnecting my battery. After sufficiently draining its juice and reattaching it, I was hopeful... But nope. My car still would not crank.

Sadly I admitted defeat and called a tow truck. I highly recommend Gold American Express' Road Side Assistance. Very professional and cordial customer service representatives. The tow truck driver arrived 45 minutes later and worked quickly but carefully. My father and I followed the tow truck to the repair shop where my car is sitting tonight awaiting the prognosis.

I am praying for a cheap fix! A very cheap fix!!!

The Last Lecture

I recently read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. You may have heard of him from his Last Lecture at Carnegie Mellon. I have not actually watched his last lecture yet but after reading the book, I am going to find the time to. A couple quotes have been running through my mind for a couple weeks now and I thought I would share the wealth.

No job is beneath you. It has been well documented that there is a growing sense of entitlement among young people today. I have certainly seen that in my classrooms. So many graduating seniors have this notion that they should be hired because of their creative brilliance. Too many are unhappy with the idea of starting at the bottom. My advice has always been you ought to be thrilled you got a job in the mail room. And when you get there here is what you do, be really great at sorting the mail. No job should be beneath us. And if you can't or won't sort mail, where is the proof you can do anything.

Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want something badly enough. They are there to keep out the other people.

Both quotes inspire me greatly. The first because I feel like I am in the legal mail room at the moment. I hope I am working my "mail room" well and I have been praying that I would start to lose some of my extreme sense of entitlement.

The second quote reminds me to keep seeking and striving for my dreams. My job search over the past six months have helped me understand why guys don't ask girls out... Rejection stinks. But my hope is if I keep looking, seeking and applying one day a potential employer will say yes.

Gotta Love the DART

This morning was not necessarily an atypical morning but I wanted to comment on my train ride anyway. The man sitting beside me was reading a book called I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. I Wikipediaed it and the book sounds every bit as awful as the title.

I then overheard the man and woman in front of me discussing their political views very loudly. The woman was saying that she really was upset that John Kerry did not win the election in 2004 and that it was all because George Bush planned the attacks on 9/11. The man replied that he too found the terrorist attacks on 9/11 to be very coincidentally timed. I just had to shake my head. I have no words...

Just another day riding the DART.

Singled Out for Good

I was recently listening to a talk on singleness that I found encouraging, funny, truth-filled and insightful. It referenced the article below that I thought I would post it in honor of all of my single friends. Enjoy!

Paige Benton Brown on November 11, 2008
Had I any vague premonition of my present plight when I was six, I would have demanded that Stephen Herbison (incontestably the catch of the second grade) put his marriage proposal into writing and have it notarized. I do want this piece to be practical, so to all you first-graders: carpe diem.

Over the past several years I have perfected the artistry of escape regarding any singles functions—cookouts, conferences, Sunday school classes, and my personal favorite, putt-putt. My avoidance mechanism is triggered not so much by a lack of patience with such activities as it is by a lack of stomach for the pervasive attitudes. Thoreau insists that most men lead lives of quiet desperation; I insist that many singles lead lives of loud aggravation. Being immersed in singles can be like finding yourself in the midst of “The Whiners” of 1980s Saturday Night Live--it gives a whole new meaning to “pity party.”

Much has been written in Christian circles about singleness. The objective is usually either to chide the married population for their misunderstanding and segregationism or to empathize with the unmarried population as they bear the cross of “Plan B” for the Christian life, bolstered only by the consolation prizes of innumerable sermons on 1 Corinthians 7 and the fact that you can cut your toenails in bed. Yet singles, like all believers, need scriptural critique and instruction seasoned by sober grace, not condolences and putt-putt accompanied with pious platitudes.

John Calvin's secret to sanctification is the interaction of the knowledge of God and knowledge of self. Singles, like all other sinners, typically dismiss the first element of the formula, and therein lies the root of all identity crises. It is not that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but that life has no tragedy like our God ignored. Every problem is a theological problem, and the habitual discontent of us singles is no exception.

Can God be any less good to me on the average Tuesday morning than he was on that monumental Friday afternoon when he hung on a cross in my place? The answer is a resounding no. God will not be less good to me tomorrow either, because God cannot be less good to me. His goodness is not the effect of his disposition but the essence of his person—not an attitude but an attribute.

I long to be married. My younger sister got married two months ago. She now has an adoring husband, a beautiful home, a whirlpool bathtub, and all-new Corning ware. Is God being any less good to me than he is to her? The answer is a resounding no. God will not be less good to me because God cannot be less good to me. It is a cosmic impossibility for God to shortchange any of his children.

God can no more live in me apart from the perfect fullness of his goodness and grace than I can live in Nashville and not be white. If he fluctuated one quark in his goodness he would cease to be God.

Warped theology is at the heart of attempts to “explain” singleness:


- “As soon as you’re satisfied with God alone, he’ll bring someone special into your life”—as though God's blessings are ever earned by our contentment.
- “You're too picky”—as though God is frustrated by our fickle whims and needs broader parameters in which to work.
- “As a single you can commit yourself wholeheartedly to the Lord's work”—as though God requires emotional martyrs to do his work, of which marriage must be no part.
- “Before you can marry someone wonderful the Lord has to make you someone wonderful”—as though God grants marriage as a second blessing to the satisfactorily sanctified.

Accepting singleness, whether temporary or permanent, does not hinge on speculation about answers God has not given to our list of whys, but rather on celebration of the life he has given. I am not single because I am too spiritually unstable to possibly deserve a husband, nor because I am too spiritually mature to possibly need one. I am single because God is so abundantly good to me, because this is his best for me. It is a cosmic impossibility that anything could be better for me right now than being single. The psalmists confirm that I should not want, I shall not want, because no good thing will God withhold from me.

Such knowledge of God must transform subsequent knowledge of self-theological readjustment is always the catalyst for renewed self-awareness. This keeps identity right-side-up with nouns and modifiers in their correct place. Am I a Christian single or am I a single Christian? The discrepancy in grammatical construction may be somewhat subtle, but the difference in mindset is profound. Which word is determinative and which is descriptive?

You see, we singles are chronic amnesiacs—we forget who we are, we forget whose we are. I am a single Christian. My identity is not found in my marital status but in my redemptive status. I am one of the “haves,” not one of the “have-nots.”

Have you ever wondered at what age one is officially single? Perhaps a sliding scale is in order: 38 for a Wall Street tycoon; 21 for a Mississippi sorority girl; 14 for a Zulu princess; and five years older than I am for me. It is a relevant question because at some point we see ourselves as “single,” and that point is a place of greater danger than despair. Singleness can be a mere euphemism for self-absorption—now is the “you time.” No wife to support? No husband to pamper? Well, then, by all means join three different golf courses, get a weekly pedicure, raise emus, subscribe to People.

Singleness is never carte blanche for selfishness. A spouse is not a sufficient countermeasure for self. The gospel is the only antidote for egocentricity. Christ did not come simply to save us from our sins, he came to save us from our selves. And he most often rescues us from us through relationships, all kinds of relationships. “Are you seeing anyone special?” a young matron in my home church asked patronizingly. “Sure,” I smiled. “I see you and you're special.” OK, my sentiment was a little less than kind, but the message is true. To be single is not to be alone. If someone asks if you are in a relationship right now, your immediate response should be that you are in dozens. Our range of relational options are not limited to getting married or to living in the sound-proof, isolated booth of Miss America pageants. Christian growth mandates relational richness.

Many of my Vanderbilt girls have been reading Lady in Waiting, a popular book for Christian women struggling with singleness. That's all fine and dandy, but what about a subtitle: And Meanwhile, Lady, Get Working. It is a cosmic impossibility for God to require less of me in my relationships than he does of the mother of four whose office is next door. Obedience knows no ages or stages.

Let's face it: singleness is not an inherently inferior state of affairs. If it were, heaven would be inferior to this world for the majority of Christians (Mom is reconciled to being unmarried in glory as long as she can be Daddy's roommate). But I want to be married. I pray to that end day. I may meet someone and walk down the aisle in the next couple of years because God is so good to me. I may never have another date and die an old maid at 93 because God is so good to me. Not my will but his be done. Until then I am claiming as my theme verse, “If any man would come after me, let him . . .”

Taken from http://www.ouruf.org/
Heard during Singleness: Thriving Not Just Surviving

This is the job that never ends...

It goes on and on my friends. Jennifer started working it not knowing what it was,and she'll continue working it forever just because... (the economy)

I am still working away at my contract jobs. There have been three rounds of cuts thus far and I have survived them all. Apparently I am an efficient box clicker. Ha! I wonder how good that will look on my resume?!

Disclaimer: I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I am thankful for the Lords provision but very tired of doing the same thing over and over again. In this economy, beggars cannot be choosers... and I am trying not to be a "chooser". But it is hard sometimes. Lets just say I am eagerly looking forward to the day that I can do something else.

In other news, I went to the Porch again last night... Making my attendance two for two in the new year. The talk was on alcohol and I have to admit I was a little prideful going into it. I rarely drink so I didn't think the talk would be very applicable to my life... but the talk was great and truthfully could be applied to many areas of life. I am actually excited about going back and hearing the rest of the series! Shocking I know! Praise the Lord for changing my heart. The awkwardness of trying to meet people remains but maybe that will fade with time too.